Productivity and Performance

...but also maybe this shouldn't be the title at all? Buckle up.

A friend of mine was recently speaking on Instagram about performance. How our minds have become so obsessed with performing that we have lost track of what actually fills our cups. It got me thinking about the pressure I put on myself to “perform” and also the things in my day that truly make me feel productive or increase my own self worth. I waste a lot of time stressing myself out about things that I “should” do for the sake of doing. I think a lot of this comes from social media feeling like one big performance. It is sometimes hard to separate what is actually inspiring vs. not.

When I was a new mom I felt this very strongly. I remember obsessing over the perfect matching pajamas for Charlie even when getting him dressed was a battle. I would tell Dave “I need a picture of him in these cute pajamas!” when the productive thing would have been to let him sleep in whatever he was wearing. Can anyone else relate? There are a lot of things I did in the early days of Instagram that were for a performance checkmark rather than any sort of productivity for myself. I think this concept has lingered with me over the years and bled into other areas of my life.